i cried..
when i talked to u i cried..
i jus wanna know where and when u coming back..
izzit too much to ask for as a close fren?
well nvm anw u will be back...
watever.. jus wait.. @_@
frenx stay forever..


i am so lost..
still so lost..
for now i am jus smsing u and talking to u as much as i can
before u leave here and lose contact...
i don wan u to leave here with doubts...
i am gonna crack my brain and think think think....

the last look on ur face tells me tat u don wan to leave..
but yet u must...
ut asi tells me tat u are controlling ur tears..
so am i...

now i know watever io say will jus be a say..
u are leaving and i have to face reality..
this is wat u teach me.. always to face reality..
now i really have to face reality..
and it is painful..
i know u will be back..
but dono when... and being kept in suspense is nt a good feeling..

i had told u wat i feel
and i hope it clear all the doubts in u..
i don wan u to leave with all the thoughts in ur mind..
jus promise me u will come back all fine..


i saw him for the very last time..
i dono when he will be back...
but i jus hope that he will be safe over there..
i dono where but jus another place...

i won't have know that he was leaving
if kai nv tell me..
why mus he do this...
can't we be frenx like wat we used to??

to him..
U promised tat u will be there whenever i need someone..
whenever i face problem at home
i will call and vent it out on u...
u will listen to me even if i was crying my heart out and practically
no one can understand wat i am saying..
and now u are breaking the promise..
u are jus leaving without even saying..
how can u do this...

Now i cant do anything..
all i can do is to pray tat u will do well on the other side..
hope u take good care and be healthy..
hope u don drink too much and of cos nt with an empty stomach...
plz be happy over there and do well in everything u do...
no worries abt me i guess.. u shld know i am very undependent...


"i donno when i will be back..take care of urself..well i got to go...bye bye..."

this is the last sentence he said to me...
this is so unfair..
u treat a fren like tat.??
why are u avoiding...


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
my voice is still back totally.. dammit...
well actually morning wake up was worst..
woke up and ask papa if i shld go to sch or not and papa say don go den do wat..
den ok lor go sch lor.. @_@

at first the sentences i said was barely completed..
i talk macham stucked stucked.. LOL.. i listen le wanna laugh sia..
but after that it was better and i can talk but super manly!!!
LOLLLLLL
den they all keep disturbing me... lol..

so today was science module and as usual la..
boring... hahhaha.
nth much lor... hahah..

oo ya anw the prom pictures i haven get it yet..
will post them up when i get it and edit it..^^
Bye peeps..


YEAH MAN!!!!!
finally prom is over... OMG SHIOK!!!
well but bad thing is i am damn sick.. even before prom..
guess wat.. i go to prom with my sexy manly voice.. LOL..
some of them was saying, i look great but open mouth wa man!!!

well anw i am glad everything went on well..
the food was nice too man!!!! hahah.. but nv eat much..
managed to see my juniors enjoyin the prom and managed to talk to them..
saw my long lost fren hanafi.. LOL.
he performing Hip hop for the day with his crew...
anw after the prom was damn tired...
kept all the stuff and they say they going KTV cele..
WTH i like tat KTV i think die.. LOL...
so me, yp, ms and pearlyn went home..
lucky yp papa was so nice.. he send us home..

settle everything at home den slp at ard 2am..
morning wake up at 6 test my voice.. ok GONE CASE have to skip sch..
thanx to RP's PBL system lor... base on presentation..
so no voice means cannot talk means bad grade.. so might as well don go..
no point... anw woke up a few times in the middle of the night and cough like mad..
well i don like to be sick.. very xing ku..
i even cry sia.. kns.. damn xing ku la sia...
have to admit when i am sick or nt enough slp i will be like a baby sia..
well anw i see doctor le..
doctor says
NO COLD DRINK!!!!
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG how is JESSIE NG CHENG YI gonna stand without drinking cold
drinks man!!!
but bo bian sia..!!! ARGHHH!!!!! tahan!!!!!

For those who cared for me..
thanx alot..
i will be fine in a few days.. ^^


well well well..
i jus managed to finish the last touch up of prom...
ermmm ok la i think i quite satisfied with myself
as the first time doing all these for prom.. heheheh..
it is so gonna be better compared to our year de...
anw tml have to wake up like 9am...
to transport all things to css...
sian!!! early wake up means no beauty slp... kns...
nvm.. after prom i shall slp like siao... hehehehe..
anw these days nth much lor..
sch and prom and home.. @_@
anw i go slp l
headache...
nitezzzz errrr or rather morning.. LOL


hey..
jus randomly feel like blogging..
well i dono why but these few days i am feeling abit down??
or rather nt down is ermmmmm sian sian lor..
maybe is cos stress over the prom???
maybe i dono why?? aiya jus feel reckless.. don feel like doing anything..
jus wanna lay on my bed and slp..
slp till i shiok den i wake up...
thinking of nth and jus SLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP...
aiya dono la... i wan my holidays...!!!!
i wanna leave here and go over to malaysia for new year..
at least i can leave watever stressful thing in spore to pause for the moment..
den i can go back and pour my heart out to my cousin..
they always makes me feel better.. is like i deposit my stuff to them..
den when i am back to spore i feel better....
lets hope i can go back..


为什么你要为了爱情而放弃友情？？
当不了情人就不能当朋友吗？？
如果是这样我宁可我们从没认识过。。。

从一开始我们就不应该认识，
不认识，你就不会爱上我。。
不爱上我就不会受伤害。。
不受伤害我就不会失去你这个朋友。。
为什么会发生这些事？？
为什么你一声不吭就离开。。
没有说为什么。。。
有可能这就是最后的结果。。
有可能这个选择对你和我都好？
不过这会让我们很伤心。。
我希望你能找到一个不会伤害你的人。。。

watever the reason is..
i jus hope u will be doing fine..
i really hope so...


MORNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
i jus woke up nt long..
well today FiveOne is having steamboat at my hse..
EXCITED LA SIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
long time since i see some of them..
anw today i managed to get some slp..
although i was woken up at 9 plus
den 11 plus which make me cant slp make.. @_@

so now i am blogging
but later have to bathe den go eat den buy the food...
oo ya..
forget to say SRY to my darling JIALE!!!!!!!!!
so sry i cannot make it to pei u go buy things...
but ur birthday i die die will go there..
i crawl or roll also will get there... ^^
25th dec is booked for u le...^^
heheheheh


yeah today is friday...
happy cos tml no sch..
den tml gt steamboat at my hse for jennifer de BD...
which allows me to be busy for tml.. which is good cos i love to be busy..
LOL...
den today is 14th nov.. ^^

anw this whole few weeks damn busy lor..
rush here and there.. go home den rush back to sch..
anw elle did great for her MUSE..
it was so so so so so so NICE..
all the dancers did a great job..
i was real impressed and amazed...
i wish i were the one dancin on stage..
but i doubt i can do tat well =.=
so many steps to rmb la sia!!!
LOLLL

well i guess after the prom 23 nov i will be relax..
den i finally can slp all i wan.. WOHOOOOOO
anw i jus check my sch mail and realise tat
i am nominated to be event manager =.=
and is said to be by my frenx but i know no one in my interest grp =.=
so who sia nominate..den still gt interview and all..
if get in meaning i will be busy managing events ..
but well i don mind cos i like to do these things...
anw i go listen my facilitator talk le...
BYEEESSSS








hey hey..
well as usuall today is tuesday..
science day..
i feel that today was damn busy for me..

Early in the morning my dear cousin jian hui called me
he say he got the night safari pass for 4 px...
and he say that i need to go today and return to him by today as well..
den i started to ask my classmates if anyone free and wanna go today..
well it was too alst min so expected la no one..

den of cos i think of my darling jiale..
i called her and it went like this
"EH bitch... wanna go night safari ma??" - me
"HUH... when??" - jiale
"Tonight lor... my cousin called me ans say that he got the pass.."
i can only recall that much..
well i rmb she was screaming in excitment..
reason being, she can go and see her long lost frens..
LOLLL..
as usual she was online and we lame like DAMN SIAO!!!...
anw is quite normal for us.. LOL wanna know ask me.. if u cannot stand lame thing
den better don ask.. LOLLL..

well anw as usual i dono anything abt the stupid science..
and by break up one almost half the class GONE!!~~~
den my team mates all gone also.. den i was thinkin i gt things to settle so aiya U KNOW!~~
so anw i am going to godma eat dinner..
visit her see hows her health.. she jus came back from operation ystd..
well bye.. i gt some photos which i will upload soon....













yo peeps..
i few days nv update le wor...
well well well i guess nth much happen..
only tat i am real busy...
friday after sch went home den at night went to meet yan ping for prom proposal..
den we setle til 11 plus 12 den she went home..
den after tat i 1 plus slp...

sat damn ultra busy for me..
morning wake up early to go to a JIVE event at raffles..
all the way till 4 plus.. den after tat chiong home to bathe and out to rp for band concert..
den after tat cab down to jiale hse pei her awhile den go home.. wa kao my leg nv rest at all..
well den at home online till 2 plus slp...
was gossiping with my darling adeline online due to smth >.<
anw later i will upload pix of ikea outing, JIVE event and Band concert with Kelly...
i am damn lazy bt i will upload after i edit some
^^

anw i am glad real glad..
those who dono maybe u are jus nt suppose to know..
those who think i will tell u den u ask me..
if u think i wont tell u den don bother askin me..
hahahah.. ^^
the two main chracter know jiu ok le. heh...


hello peeps..
ystd wanted to blogges but reach home damn late...

well ystd wasn science module and expected bORING..
den we went tampanies IKEA..
wa kao super huge can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we took alot alot alot of pictures..
when i free den i upload some.. lazyyy...
anw it was great..
saw many sample rooms of both childrens and also adults..
omg children's room damn nice damn cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

adults one is omg chio..
damn classy...
make me feel so tempted to renovate my family hse.. LOLL..
anw after IKEA i went to outram to help my cousin's wife by lending her my hair.. =.=
cos she learn hair styling...
den i jus sit there lor then my head is hers for tat moment...LOL..
den she make me look like a bride...
putting the teira and also the shawl... =.=
photo maybe i will post.. but cover face.. LOL..
so after the thing end at 9 plus cousin came to fetch us and headed to my hse
there de market meet up with my parents and aunty and uncle..
den talk talk talk den after tat reach home ard 11 den bathe den online till 12 plus..
so nv blog.. hahahaha...
well tat is much of wat happen ystd...

today going shopping with naomi den will head home.. ^^







BIG THANX TO MY MAMA FOR INVITING HIM...
let me realise wat a person he is..
i expected u will make use of the chance to talk to me..
but seriously
what is there to talk abt?? jus WAT???????????????
cant u jus let it be the way it shld be..
cant u respect my decision..
why mus u be so push-y why mus u force me...
i said i don wan and if u realised u talk to me in a harshed tone..
saying tat u wanna talk to me in private and tat u are serious..
well guess wat i am nt scared..
i am also serious when i say i don want to talk..
and if u realise u even tried to pull me out.. i bet u urself did nt know wat u are doing..
for god sake let me go..
jus let me go...


ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

ok this is wat is going on...
my mama will be cooking today...
and as random as she always is..
she kept asking me where is he?? why we so long nv talk??? why he nv come??
BLAH BLAH BLAH...
as usual i will say I DONO I THINK BUSY PLAYING SPORTS...
and she will go nagging saying
"he got gf le izzit??"
"Or u like another guy le???"
"or he see u close to other guys den don wan u le??"
OMG FOR GOD SAKE STOP!!!!
all these are killing me.. wat for u wan to mention so much abt him..
ask him be ur godson or watever den...

so i thought she was gonna stop..
instead she did not.. she actually went to called him up..
and asked him over for dinner.. WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wats wrong with her???!!!!
wat more can i say.. i cant say no... cos she does nt know wat is happening..
and moreover she is my mom...
and guess wat.. all i can do is wait for this whole dinner to be finished...

and i dono is it he dono or wat..
it is my mom who wants him over for dinner nt me..
and i dono why he will sms me and ask wat time my mama wan he to be over..
so i jus reply him and asked him to call my mom and asked her..
and he say tat since i am with my mom den help him..
so to make myself clear..
i told him tat it was my mom who ask him over nt me and tat i have no say..
and he asked me why am i saying all these..
HELLLOOO u shld know??!!!
anw i cant be bothered.. no time for all these.. wanna come jus come watever it is...


BOOOOOOOOO...
well i am bored.. so i came to post like siao...
anw i think my father's attitude is getting bad to worse...
he is very pek chek all the time when at home..
actually throughout his whole day at home u will only see him at few locations..
his favourite sofa seat watching tv...
outside the hse feeding his plants with water and fertiliser..
in the kitchen cleaning the bird's cage or his room bathing..
other than tat he don go anywhere..
i guess it had been real long since he stepped into my room..
wow i jus realise... hahaha...

the reason why i say his attitude is getting worse is cos....
jus now my mom came out from her room to the living room
where my dad is watchin tv, she took the remote control and wanted to reduce the volume..
but as wat i expected my mama will press wrong thing and end up switching
the channels or mode or watever.. cos my mama dono english..
den expected my papa will shout at her..
he get irritated by her alot nowadays..
well nt to mention i get irritated by my mom all the time as well..
cos she is jus too much at times.. she can jus keep askin questions when ppl doing things..
if nt she will anyhow touch other ppl's things.. damn irritated..

anw...
after my dad switch it back to channel 5 he went to toilet..
then my mama came and reduce the volume.. this time she press correctly..
den after my papa came out he looked at me and asked...
"who turned down the volume??!!!"
i was like errr not me.. mommy of cos...
den he jus say "chee bye"
i was like speechless... well it is nt the first time i hear vulgarites from him..
but is jus tat i was shocked.. why so worked up over such a small thing..
but then again... i guess is cos he is stressed.. from wat i know..
i think my papa lost his job or smth i nt sure cos i don really care much..
and they don really tell me much..
but anw tats why i need to work.. ^^
i guess the reason why i don really bother abt my parents having job or nt
is cos i am nt really those who buy this and that unless i need to...
ok i admit last time when my family used to be rich i was kind of spoilt cos
as a kid i get watever i wan, my dad will jus buy wat i wan...
but after the retrenchment from hitachi den we had difficulties and i changed..
i think clearly abt my wants and needs... so there is nth much to worry abt..

i guess my papa is worried abt my mama
cos she complain tat my papa give him nt enough money..
problem is cos she keeps giving my brother money everytime my brother go out..
and now my brother is working she still gives him like 10 bucks a day??
she say tat my brother nt enough money..
and why.. COS GF den he keep spending on clothes.. see nice den buy..
all volcom, rip curl, reef.. WTH...
and i told my mama she keep givin him money he will spend more..
she spoilt him since young man...i feel like i am more of a mama den her..
wat to do she jus like my bro cos he is a guy and i am a girl..

can u imagine how spoilt my brother is..
he came home everyday standing outside the door and wait for ppl open for him..
he will even ask me to open for him.. WTH.. can he open it himself..
he have his keys in his pocket for ur info..
and the way he ask is rude.. he will jus go "eh... open door lehx.."
EH HELLLOOO do i look like ur maid...
and today i was damn angry he came back and expecting me to open and i shouted..
"open the door urself!!"
den he pulled out his keys... @_@

worse thing..
everyday he come home my mama is jus like his maid...
he will jus come back put his things and sit infront of com, on phone or watch tv..
den my mama will ask him wana eat ma?? den cook for him bring to him..
den after tat keep the dishes den after tat take my brother clothes to his face
and ask him to bath.. WTHHHHHHH!???? can u imgaine tat???
this is towards my brother..

to me..
if i come back black face cos tired..
she will say "everyday come back giv cb face, studyin den big shot ar...
come back show face like we owe u money"
change it to my brother she will say "aiyo very tired ar.. eat le ma?? slp early lor.."
interesting????
more...
if i hungry i ask her nicely if she can cook for me..
she will say "ownself cook la i watching tv la.."
cool or wat!!!???

ya for those who dono
this is how my family works.. interesting.. LOL..
anw bye peeps...


oo ya.. i happen to rmb smth..
guess wat...
my parents don even know i am sick.. @_@

that day after work parents came to fetch..
den i was saying i like having flu lehx..
den my mama like ooo u gan mao le...
den i went home took my med..

the next day when i wake up mama call me..
she asked me if i did the hse work le..
den i was like huh i don feel like doing lehx..
den she went WHY..
den i say i sick wat.. thought ystd u know le..
den she went ooo u sick mehx??
i was thinking in my head.. WTH!!???

my mama already dono le nt to mention my dad or my brother..
my dad is everything heck care..
as long as he have his newspaper and tv to watch his news at night jiu ok le..
brother is cant be bothered abt me.. he is in his loving world...
lucky i am independent sia...
well anw watever.. jus wanted to blog out.. hhahah..


WAHAHAHA..
jus came back nt long from my dearest jiale hse..
ystd ton over at her hse..
we played hotel 626..
or rather we nv really play we jus see see abit den skip everything.. LOL..
scary sia.. suddenly the ghost come out KNS..
anw we are practically slackin away la..
den she fell aslp before i did.. she slept on the sofa..
so i off my lappy and asked her to go into the room and slp..

and the next day we woke up and watch tv..
british next top model..
had a great laugh.. "u have to buy it to try it.."
WTH HAHAHAHAHAH ok inside joke...
ya then after tat dinner me and jiale went to the swimming complex to tabao KFC..
den dinner at her hse with godparents,jiale and godsis..
den me and jiale watched our all time favourite MEAN GIRLS..
hahahahahh bring back lots of old memories man.. DAMN FUNNY...
we made our burn book too.. jus like in the show.. DAMN FUNNNNNNYYYYY
well anw after tat went home lor...
tats all..
and i really need to slp like pig tml... cos monday start sch and i am still sick...
SIANX....