today afternoon i post le...
now i post again...
hmmmmmm.... today i say i don wan go out de... but in the end went to je...
went to KFC and eat wif YP.... b4 tat we at home chat online then so lame sia...
the phrase"Lightning strike my heart" LOL.. damn funny la... only me and YP rememeber...
HOR YP... LOL... super funny la...so lame sia... cant stop laughing...
hmmmm then after tat we went to westmall....saw kim hung... he changed alot...
then after tat no place go then go home.. sianx...
ya i saw HIM at JE... he was out wif his mama... he wear jeans.. i first time se...
so handsome.. heheh....


To my dearest HIM....
don worry about me during ur camp...
i will be jus fine.. i will be the usual cheng yi..
i will pass by everyday having the hope u will be back soon...
i am sure we will make it de... it is only few days..
we shall treat this as a test for out relationship ba...
we will pass it de....
i know tat i make u insecure at times.. and i had put myself in ur positon...
and i think and i know how u feel.. but if i don tell u the truth u will feel more bad...
i am really happy u understand me...^^
although tml maybe will be last day u send me home b4 ur camp...
but no worries when come back still got so many time....
i will cherish every moment de..
when u are nt around i will think of u de...
miss u alot de....
and hor.... don need scared de my FRENX will pei u at camp...
HAHAHA... ok la don scare u la.. LOL...
we will miss each other alot i know and we will pull through the first zhang ai we hav...
so no worries..^^ i will wait for u...
muackx...


HELOOOO!!

hmmmm i guess everything is over and tats the reason why today i slp till so late wake up ba...
i ystd night slp at 9 plus then today 11 plus wake up... wa lao like pig sia...
but nvm shiok lor.. can slp so long... normally will wake up at 8 plus 9....
today my family GOOD lor.. all go out without me... basket... then i alone at home.....
sobx sobx... LOL... no la i cannot cry de... i gt promise.. lol..
i know mornin gt ppl sms me then i know is him... cos he always so early wake up de...
so i too tired continue slp then 11 plus gt sms again then i wake up le... ya is him also...
so i wake up and look around.... no one at home lor... then mama say she outside wif aunty...
kor kor dono die where... papa should be wif mama... then i alone.. lol....
i think nth much will happen today cos i intend to stay at home ba.. tired sia...
jus rot at home.. do sewing... study.... then slp again..hahhaha LOL....
ok la later the day then post again ba if i free.... ^^


today other then all the shit thing he gave us.. it was a very happy day lor...
after sch he waited for me... then we waited for YP they all then went home....
MS so funny la.. cannot stand her... me, him ,jen and MS went to hav dessert...
but only they two eat me and him nv....they two really like small kids la.. then me and him keep
laughing lor...
then after tat we take bus home... and actually wanna go MS house take smth but she forget
her keys so walked from her hse back home wif him by my side....
although it seems far walkin from her house to mine... but wif him i feel tat its so fast lor...
then nt tired de... cos so sweet... ^^ he make me PS again as usual... lol...
i was really shy la.. lol... cos he wan me call him ermmmm aiya u all shld know la...
then i very shy ma first time say face to face.... of cos in the end gt say la...

whenever u hold my hands....
i don feel like letting go...
i feel safe wif u by my side...
i feel loved....
i sometimes wonder....
all these seems like a dream..
a sweet sweet dream tat i don wanna end it...
i guess i really found someone tat will love me wif his whole heart...
and also a guy tat i will love wif my whole heart....
no worries...
i wont leave u... i promise...
this is gonna be the promise tat will nt be broken....
thanx for always been there for me...
cryin wif me laughing wif me...
i am gonna be spoilt by u...
u treat me too good le....
but of cos cannot treat me bad la.. lol...
i am sry if i always make u worry about me...
sometimes i jus leave my phone aside when i am moody...
when i see my phone wif 7 sms from u...
tellin me u are very worried...



ShiT U lA....
SaY sry got use la.. totally la... say sry liao everything will go back la...
the pain she go through will recover la..
BULLSHIT LA......
hurt her so much wanna say sry the settle ar... HAHAHAHA so funny....
watever la... also dono why u can take it so easy lor...
i don care le la....


i guess in the end i was right.... my feelings were right....
u indeeed hurt her... and i was really right... u do love the other girl....
i don blame u or wat.. cos i know u are confused urself....
but i am angry at u cos i are such a bastard.....
how can u jus say u think u treat her as sub and then say sry then all is past..
and then tat same day went out for dinner wif another girl... WTH is this...
u don feel u very bastard mehx??? hmmmm maybe u don....
it is really weird on how YP can be so calm.....
or rather nt really... she was calm at first... now she is F***** up la......
thinking back is really lame shit la.. all is jus F***ing lame la.. all bullshit from u..
u make her feel happy and lucky.. then make her feel sad and even cry..
then lastly left her alone feelin helpless and feelin u are a bastard.....
i make sure u get it from US.....watch out....
i still don understand how can u go meeting another girl for dinner when u had jus hurt one
girl... don u feel moody or rather abit tiny bit of sorrow... u can still happily go out for dinner??
i really dono wats on ur mind la.. weird sia.... now how u expect ppl to believe u tat u arew nt
flirt and serious??? u told me tat and now see wat happen... treat her as sub... hmmmm....
better think b4 u make any moves u regret... the other party will jus get hurt like shit...
wa really very angry la... i nv thought u are such a guy la... wa sey... arghhhhhh.....


i Tell u hor..... if anyone or whoever dare to hurt her...
i make sure i wont forgive him or her de lor....
make sure u don hurt her...
seriously speakin the first time i hear u say u like her...
i don feel good...cos i jus gt one feelin tat is very strong inside me...
jus weird... tats why i keep askin u if u really like her ma....
is jus weird.. the feelin is very strong lor....
i dono la... jus don hurt her... and i mean it....
if u hurt her.. i make sure i hate u to core... and i make sure.... u will confirm get it from us...
i am nt say nt trusting u.. is jus tat the strong feelin is contradicting me.....
i believe and trust u... but i think u confirm will hav the same werid feelin as i do..
if u do then better refelct.. don regret after everything... gt anything jus say don hide...
jus don hurt her... she is nt as strong as she seems....


today was a damn tiring day lor...
or rather the whole week is boring la all MT MT MT MT... wa siao...
today i was really damn tired cos i did nt slp well ystd....
i think my "FRENX" in my room come dee siao me...
but my parents say i too stress so will like tat... LOL
dono la feel tat they dee siao...
i was damn tired slping quite shiok then suddenly i dream of a pond....
i was wif someone but dono who lai de.. cannot see...
then tat someone look across the pond and ppl use to say there very scary..
then i look also lor... also dono tat someone lookin at wat but i only know when i looked across....
my hair all stand sia... jus gt the scary feelin...then i woke up i know i woke up le.. but my mind
is still in the dream and i cant move... i dono la.... last time also like tat so i jus hack and slp back..
but then dream again lor.. but is other scary dream.. then i cannot tahan i go mama room slp...
then my papa slp my room... sorry papa... :P
ya i guess reason for being tired is nv slp well ystd and i guess mentally tired too...
cos many things happen...
but guess all over le....

to my kor...
"sry tat i hurt u... sry tat i hurt u all... sry tat i cause so much thing...
really sry... plz don ignore us cos we feel hurt..
even though i know u don really like me but i still treat u as my kor...
i don wanna lose anymore good frenx... and most importantly a kor...
hopefully u see this and understand wat i wanna say.... u might still be angry...
but hopefully time heals it all... if u gt anything bu shuang about be next time
jus tell me straight in the face so i know and i change... thanx...."


Can everything jus STOP!!!
It'S enough... JUS STOP!!!
I had enough and SHE had enough too...
How much pain she needs to go through???
or rather WE need to go through...
it is seriously very irritating to hav so much things running in ur mind...
jus unable to concentrate lor... sometimes jus dono wats on ur mind but jus feel so confused...
the feeling is nt good lor...
i guess we are really twins lor.. we go through same emotions we understand wat we wanna say
jus by smiling at each other... it is jus so special.....
and i can tell u i don wanna lose u ever again... i guess i can only talk to u and my special him
about my problems and watever....
cos only u two understand wat i feel....
i will be by ur side de... jus a phone call away....


i guess everything is ending...
jus treat it all my fault can le...
i dono how to face everything and everyone..
i really don wish to see u two like tat....
but actually everything is fine le...
but i think it is jus difficult for HIM to communicate wif US ba..
but it is kind of weird why things will end up like this...
i thought the main thing is between U and the new HIM whom u know nt long...
i am jus confused right now...
i think maybe u all are right i jiao huai Her...
maybe she got influence by me.... but i am wat i am born to be.. its my character...
i changed alot if u all happen to notice... i changed cos of my frenx... remember how i was
in sec 1 and 2 and 3???? i was full of vulgar words...always noisy KBKB...
thinking back i really changed alot.. but i doubt anyone notices...
everything these day is very the CONFUSE la....
am i suppose to trust and believe everyone...
i am like helping out in everything and everyone but wat they do?? accuse me tat i did nt
believe them??? HMMMMM..... weird.......i guess my mama was right.. i sometimes too good le...
she always says
"what for do so much things for them when they don return ur kindness???"
and i will always say frenx are jus important to me and i don wan lose anyone and i wanna help..
but i guss mama was right ba.. HAIZ...
now everything gt to erase from my mind and i hav to concentrate on O....

FOr my sis...
"Don ever get affected by others...
they hide things from u might be cause they wanna protect u....
might be overprotecting but at least u know they care....
although u feel hurt and i can see it in ur eyes...don ever giv up....
pour ur hearts out to me... i will be there...everything will be changed from now...
and those involved knew it.... and no one knows who fault is it...
don think so much about others.. now is O level.. no time... mus chiong liao...
anything bu shuang tell me i pei u go somewhere fa xie ok.... remember i gt alot of ideas
de... especially places tat can vent anger...i will find as much places to go as possible..."


To my dearest twin sister...
I'm sorry tat i hurt u at times...
sometimes i really think of the same thing.. wat if WX nv leave sch??
everything will jus be different... we will nv gonna be back to out sec 1 and 2 life...
we always go everywhere together do everthing together and since sec 3 everything changes..
and i tried tons of way to go back to wat we used to be but all failed...and finally i gave up...
tat time i really think tat u changed alot.. but i always take it as a stage of life..
but when i totally giv up on going back to times we used to be... WX left...
and u came back to my life... at tat time i hated u.. i jus feel tat u are treating me as a sub...
when WX is there u no need me when she is gone u come back...
u should hav notice at tat time i always keep distance from u... i don wanna go back to u
and hurt myself again...but i guess we are jus fated to be sisters 4ever ba...
really enjoy myself when i am wif u... we went back to last time and did everyting together...
i thought we are fine.. but the fact is u still prefer the guys to us the girls.. i understand u are
closer to them... and i accept it.. but sometimes is jus weird.. u all always say i am part of the
group but i am nt... is jus too obvious i am nt.. and i know tat myself... about the JP thing i
already know its a lie and i jus hack care.. cos i expected it... and i am nt close to u all so i don
care too... u know me la... i always treat frenx important de...i giv up in quarrels...i refelect
on myself... i change my mistakes.. and i know u did too... but i guess it is difficult 4 u to change
ba... we both tried and we both been through lots of ups and downs... and now we are back to
last time.. but there is always something tat are unable to go back..
about the mental test thing... i was shocked u say my name.. i thought it would be andrew they
all or WX.. but it was me... and i am glad u understand why i say jiale.. but in my mind i was
tinking about u and her but i dono which to choose...
i guess SAT might be a wrong move too... u should nt know him.. u should nt see him..
and i think everything is mistake.... but don u ever get affected by the others....don care wat others think.. even though they are ur good frenx... u think for me i jus accept him jus like tat..
i did think of it fews days b4 he ask me.. i was afraid of wat u think and wat others think.. but i told myself i love him and tats all i care... i don care wat others say...if they are ur true frenx they would hav told u everything and jus come clear wif u but see wat they do.. they hide..
did i hide tings from u.. even if i did i would still tell u in few days...i always wanna hide smth
from u but i cant.. u are jus too close to me and i jus cant hide...so don think too much..
time will heal everyting... remember nt to trust anyone even me... nobody can be trusted
totally... i learn this lesson long ago... u mus go through lots of things to understand tat..
and i did... jus remember i will be there for u... ^^ we mus share every thoughts together..

~MeMorIEs~


erMmmmm long time nv blog le.. feel weird though.. lol.. think not much ppl know about my blog cos is dead for so damn long le la.. LOL...
ok lor... nth much happen lately.. only tat i found tat someone who can giv me happiness i guess..
it's kind of funny between us.. we know each other ermmmm i think gt 1 year plus ba.. then we used to be god brother and sister.. and we always say tat we love each other as tat... but who knows actually in out heart we really love each other only don dare say out lor... don dare admit..we are both afraid to say out.. but the day come eventually...hahah... ermmm most of my frenx who know about us think tat we are perfect couples... very sweet.. and ya tats true la...
i wont forget saturday 19 of may... tat day is the most happy day of my life lor.. even yp think so...its the first time we felt so close to someone whom we know jus not long.. and it really wan fun know them.... it's really amazing how all these happens...it's like cannot believe lor...
ya today went back to the old sch there de buble tea shop.. when reach there everything jus come flashing in my mind it's like too much to rememeber.. there might be bad memories.. but it's a long 4 years tat me and my frenx had been there.. really miss all of those days... most touching is tat the shops aunties and uncle actually remember us... even ask how had we been... seeing them is like seeing someone close to me... i sure do miss them alot.. ok la stop le... update next time.. ^^byex and take care everyone...to tat special someone... i really love u lots... and i know we can pull through everything together.. ^^


MiSsIng U...
~JeSsIE~